Fawn the Flying Ferret

So I come home today to find it is the day Comcast went digital. My tv is the first thing I go to when I come home -yes even before the ferrets get let out. I think the tv announces my presents to them. Anyway, my tv says something along the lines of "If you can see this message, your tv has not been prepared for Comcast's awesome digitalness. Call 1-888-some-thing." Now I had the DTA or Digital Transport Adapter, but hadn't hooked it up. I couldn't figure out why I needed it since I have a brand new HD tv. Why did I have to buy that if I need converters-oh, well, I guess transmitters, anyway? Well, my brother insisted I shouldn't need anything either, so I said I'd wait and see what happened. Looking back that was not the best choice I've ever made, considering I start to get the shakes within minutes of being home and not having the tv on. Has nothing to do with watching it or not. It must be on at all times if I am awake!

So I set to work hooking it up, trying to remain calm as invisible psychologically induced spiders are crawling up my back and I'm beginning to twitch slightly. All is hooked up and for the final step I must call a Comcast machine to activate me. I do this and now I have one channel. My one channel is in analog and its the Chicago Works station. This type of programing does not calm the psychotic creepy crawlies. Meanwhile my brother, who I can only assume is trying to defuse the situation, is sending me comically inspired texts. My family jokes during times of crisis. It helps me when I'm sad. Not when I'm mad!

So where does a flying ferret come into all of this? I have to call Comcast again - who is experiencing a high volume of calls - Really? Not surprising. Anyway, the lady is talking me through some vital steps. Fawn starts biting my ankles. I keep moving away, lifting up victim legs intermittently. I sit on the ottoman, lifting legs, pushing Fawn away, all while trying to focus and follow instructions. Now I'm trying to do the thing where you aim the remote at the tv and wait for the flashing light and then press a series of numbers. Fawn will have no more of being ignored! She climbs up on top of her toy trunk and jumps! Through the air and lands clinging to my hand - with remote! She doesn't fall. I have to remove her. Once in a life time - America's Funniest Home Videos, right? Wrong. She continues to do this leap through the air, land clinging to my hand several more times.

I never got the remote programmed. Now I use two remotes for different jobs aimed at different devices. Great! The one thing Fawn goes feral for is the remote. Now I need to keep two of them away from her. Welcome to the future where everything is more complicated, more expensive, breaks sooner, and provides poorer quality. Oh, and the program still doesn't fill my screen! Its all still square! Can I return this tv and declare shenanigans?

I'm Still a VIRGO!

Whew!

Its Just a Game

When I was a kid you could say pretty much anything except bad words. These bad words consisted only of cuss words. We could run around teasingly calling each other retards, or tards for short. And everyone loved the midgets on Wizard of Oz. The worst, most embarrassing thing a kid could do when I was little was to yell out in the grocery store or bank, "Hey Mommy, that lady is fat!"

Now kids are expected to not only omit the cuss words, but all the bad words, which now include every word that can possibly be offensive to any group of people anywhere on the planet. Yes, tard is definitely out. Thanks to pollitically correct cartoons, kids as young as two are aware of physical differences, familiar with the look of wheel chairs, and aware that disabilities are just one more thing that makes a person special.

When I was little I played a card game called Old Maid. Sure, kids still play that today, but a different version. However, the original version is still sold. I played this card game with a group of kids and a fellow nanny friend in a coffee shop a while ago. In case you have forgotten, this deck on politically incorrect Old Maid includes the lovable characters of Midget Man - and to equally represent the sexes - Midget Lady, there's Fat Lady - the one you're not supposed to yell out about while in line at the bank - and to make her feel worse, there's Thin Man. Not to be forgotten are the Animal Rummy characters of Sassy Squirrel and his friend Gay Dog.

If this doesn't sound bad to you, try naming them to a two year old as he brings each card to you and asks you, "What's this?" You - "Oh Honey, that's a Fat Lady and a Midget Man." Even a small child knows not to call someone fat. And you don't want the other patrons in the coffee house to overhear you explaining what midget means to the newest generation. This word has also joined the new list of bad words along with retard and fat. "What's a gay dog?" That's a question better left to an episode of South Park.

My favorite old beloved childhood story changed to a politically correct version is Larry The Cable Guy's version of "Little Red Riding Hood." Watch it here /www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0PZ31SF7rY The video continues on after the story, I don't know why, with some alphabet burping, which I am not a fan of.

Kyra's Medicines

I think this picture says it all. Twice a day!

Happy Gotcha Day Mokey

One year ago today I brought Mokey home from the GCFA to join our family. Let's see what she's been up to....

Climbing
Tunneling
Mischief (Putting elephants in her water dish)
More Climbing
More Mischief
Yet again - More Mischief (in the dishwasher at Grandma & Grandpa's)
Fun on Easter
Fun on Christmas
Fun in the Club House of Boxes
Playing Inside and Elephant, Inside a Laundry Basket
Playing with eggs in water in a basin
Playing With Her Sisters In A Box
Sleeping in Her Favorite Sweater
Going to the Pride Parade
Eating Scrumptious Dinners with Her Sisters
Choosing Videos (Looks like Mokey prefers Sci-Fi, fantasy, and Christmas)
All these adventures have worn Mokey out!

Happy Gotcha Day Mokey. We love you

Kyra Has Cancer - Again

Kyra was lethargic, barely able to walk , not eating, and starting to twitch when I took her to the vet this afternoon. I figured her blood sugar was low, and the honey and high protein food I gave her did not perk her up. Sure enough, her blood sugar level was 29. It should be around 100. She had also lost weight. The vet diagnosed her with insulinoma - or pancreatic cancer. She did have some good news, however, her speen has in fact shrunk a bit. But that really means nothing since she has pancreatic cancer anyway.

She's taking prednisone and brewers yeast to help attack the extra insulin and help release more sugar into her system. Although none of this was too successful tonight, as she refused to eat the food I offered her with the medicines hidden inside. So that got thrown out. Then I dumped the prednisone on myself. Then I had to force in the meds with a dropper which caused her to gag and spit most of it out. When I offered her food she was so pissed she wouldn't even eat the regular food. So she has half her meds and barely any food. But somehow she mustered enough energy to hide under the couch right when I was trying to put everyone in the cage so I could leave for work.

I had two jobs cancel on me this week, and one job doesn't need me for two weeks due to Christmas vacations. Good thing I'm working two jobs this weekend. I guess its sort of good since I was afraid I might actually die from being so tired this week. When I received a text at 6:30 this morning that my job was cancelled, I went right back to bed until almost 10. You know when you're so tired you can't think or remember what you are doing or why you are where you are, and you're afraid you may just fall asleep while standing up in the middle of work? Well, that's what was happening to me. So two cancelled jobs -good for my survival- not good for my pocket book, which just recently had to purchase a new lap top and vet bills. Vet bills win however, costing well above the price of a laptop - although I did buy the second cheapest laptop they had, right off the shelf too for an added discount to the already clearance price.

Watch & Wait Update

So I was looking at some pictures of the girls the other day, when I realized that when I adopted Mokey she was very skinny and had no hair on her tail - as she is now. The shelter told me she was healthy, it was just from living at the shelter. The pictures from two months later showed a fat, fluffy Mokey with a fully hairy tail. Mokey has been running around like her usual energetic self and eating really well. I think she does have that seasonal thing. As long as she is energetic and eating, I'm going to let her be and see if she is all fluffy again by February.

Now Kyra of course can't be that easy. Kyra seemed to get better and have more energy. But last night she was lethargic and when she tried to walk her legs kept splaying out. When I came home from work tonight she just laid in my lap. I called the vet and he thinks she may have insulinoma in addition to the enlarged spleen - which I can still feel in her side. He said to feed her and as long as she was responsive she should be fine. If she gets unresponsive I'm to rub some honey on her gums. I'm taking her to the vet tomorrow to get her blood sugar tested again. She may be put on steroids. Insulinoma is another very common ailment in older ferrets.